I Quit Smoking. I Couldn't Quit Hair Pulling. Here's Why 👇🏻
A few years ago I quit smoking. It was hard - but I did it. And when I later decided to deal with my trichotillomania, my confidence was high. I'd done it before. I knew how to quit things.
So I made a decision to stop pulling ⛔
It didn't work. A couple of days later I caught myself pulling without even noticing. So I made another decision. That didn't work either. After dozens of these decisions I started to understand - this might be a different kind of challenge.
Going Down the Research Rabbit Hole 🔎
I studied psychology for my first degree but couldn't recall ever learning about this. So I went to do my own research.
I discovered that trichotillomania is part of a broader family called Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors - BFRB. It includes nail biting, skin picking, lip peeling and hair pulling. I found out that in the DSM-5 (the psychology definitions book) trichotillomania is actually characterized by multiple failed attempts to stop. It's not a willpower problem. It's built into the definition of the condition.
That reframed things for me 💡
I'm Not Alone - Not Even Close 💜
I went to social media to see if others deal with this. What I found surprised me. There are Facebook groups in many languages, each with thousands of members. Thousands of people pulling their hair, mostly in secret.
Because unlike nail biting - which is socially familiar and relatively accepted - hair pulling carries shame. People hide it. And because they hide it, they go looking for communities where they can find others like them. Just like I did.
Finding a Treatment That Actually Helped 📉
I learned that the main treatments focus on building awareness and developing control - not on trying to "just stop." The goal is to reduce and manage, not necessarily to eliminate overnight.
I went to a recommended therapy called Habit Reversal Training (HRT), which falls under CBT. The homework I received actually helped. Week by week I improved.
But I didn't want to be in therapy forever. I wanted a fun, daily way to keep practicing - something I could use in real life, on my own terms. That's what led me to start building SoloUno.
So Why Can't I "Just Stop" Like I Did With Cigarettes? 🤔
People ask me this all the time. I always try to explain the difference.
With cigarettes - once you quit, they're no longer around you. After enough time even the urge fades. It becomes a chapter you close.
With hair pulling, your hands are always connected to you. The struggle is always there.
Imagine if a cigarette were attached to your finger all day long.
There's another difference too. Pulling can happen without awareness - in moments of distraction, stress, boredom. You can pull without noticing you're pulling. That can't happen with smoking. You cannot smoke without knowing you're smoking.
These differences are what make it possible to fully recover from cigarettes, while with pulling it comes and goes - sometimes for days, weeks, months or even years. The struggle is always lurking.
What This Means for SoloUno ⚡
That's exactly why I wanted SoloUno to be as fun and engaging as possible. If someone is already living with hair pulling and trying to improve - the app should feel light, fast, and should never make them feel like they're failing.
Because this isn't about quitting. It's about getting better, one day at a time.
